brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
