Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
