id be glad to
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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