And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
