can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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