come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
