but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
