I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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