she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
