Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
