Your tits are I can't wait for
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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