she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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