508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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