well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
