it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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