I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
