Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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