and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize