I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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