You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize