her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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