is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize