I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
