I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
