So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize