Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How does it feel to date your dad?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
