You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
