Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
