sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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