i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
