Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
