...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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