Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This is the high leading the old right now
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize