like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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