Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
