I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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