ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
