Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Drake has all the answers
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
