What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
