If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
