He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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