That's intense
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
