Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
