I feel great
I just peed on a car
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
