There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
