Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
