I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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