I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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