i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
