So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize