I wannas sexs uuuuu
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
