I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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