We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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