Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
