I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
