my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
