I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We are all done wearing pants today
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
