i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
