I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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