Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize