So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
