I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
