Your tits are I can't wait for
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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