i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
