We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
