I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
