um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
