I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
