Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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