you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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