butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
