I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
