he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
