she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
