I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
