just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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