I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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