Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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