WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
