i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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