just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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