Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
